(Most of my essays on dreaming and paganism were archived with my older blog. This is the first essay I have posted on this blog, probably not the last.)
Being both pagan and a transgender woman can be a very harsh road. As I was working out my gender identity, I learned some of the hardest people that existed in my own community.
Their were sand still are Pagans who were followers of a belief that only women who had experience of a period could be true women. Forgetting how ableist it is, it was often clearly directed at exclusively. Often in the name of historical accuracy.
I’m certain that such history, is ultimately flawed. Of course though it is up to historians to argue that out. Many cultures though had more than one gender and our binary two have not always been a strict line that must be followed.
Almost all reconstructions of pagan beliefs hold that their is nothing to be done about the parts of history that have humans harming each other. Pagans were systematically persecuted for centuries. Conversel, when the pagans were in control of the government systems that did exist, the same was done to the Christians. It’s unfortunate but true. The other thing was that the pagans who did get more modern practices, those that survived to the point of the Christian church’s reach over the Roman Empire, believed that sex and gender were more fluid than those coming from the teachings of Abraham and his followers.
Virginity itself was a different thing before the Christians changed it.
I’m not looking to open old wounds here. I’m looking to compare. LGBTI people often find sanctuary within the neopagan community. The idea of sex being scared, life itself is scared, and these are qualities that many LGBTI people find attractive against the raw, often strict monotheism s. Though their is a issue. The issue of being excluded. Transgender and intersex people still often are. I have found a pagan ritual or pagan woman’s group that has said I have to have been “born” and or “blood” or have experienced it.
So I exclude myself. Work only with women who see me as a woman. Who actually know “biology” is far more complicated. That “Mother Nature” is a fallible woman. That many animals exist in single gender environment, swapping their physical gender due to temperatures, age, status etc. The gods to some pagans are infallible just like they are to the Christians. Such a thing seems insanely boring to me. The gods are changing, movable, maluble, and almost every mythology tells of a god or goddess changing their mind or being forced to due to their situation or needs. Strict rules are often bent, broken or in some case just plain ignored.
I’m hopeful myself that these things are something more of the pagan community sees as sarcred. The ability for the changeable divine. The transgender devine even. The gods are always going to have to change as we do. One day, maybe we will find how to change as easily as they.