On paganism and being transgender

(Most of my essays on dreaming and paganism were archived with my older blog. This is the first essay I have posted on this blog, probably not the last.)

Being both pagan and a transgender woman can be a very harsh road. As I was working out my gender identity, I learned some of the hardest people that existed in my own community.

Their were sand still are Pagans who were followers of a belief that only women who had experience of a period could be true women. Forgetting how ableist it is, it was often clearly directed at exclusively. Often in the name of historical accuracy.

I’m certain that such history, is ultimately flawed. Of course though it is up to historians to argue that out. Many cultures though had more than one gender and our binary two have not always been a strict line that must be followed.

Almost all reconstructions of pagan beliefs hold that their is nothing to be done about the parts of history that have humans harming each other. Pagans were systematically persecuted for centuries. Conversel, when the pagans were in control of the government systems that did exist, the same was done to the Christians. It’s unfortunate but true. The other thing was that the pagans who did get more modern practices, those that survived to the point of the Christian church’s reach over the Roman Empire, believed that sex and gender were more fluid than those coming from the teachings of Abraham and his followers.

Virginity itself was a different thing before the Christians changed it.

I’m not looking to open old wounds here. I’m looking to compare. LGBTI people often find sanctuary within the neopagan community. The idea of sex being scared, life itself is scared, and these are qualities that many LGBTI people find attractive against the raw, often strict monotheism s. Though their is a issue. The issue of being excluded. Transgender and intersex people still often are. I have found a pagan ritual or pagan woman’s group that has said I have to have been “born” and or “blood” or have experienced it.

So I exclude myself. Work only with women who see me as a woman. Who actually know “biology” is far more complicated. That “Mother Nature” is a fallible woman. That many animals exist in single gender environment, swapping their physical gender due to temperatures, age, status etc. The gods to some pagans are infallible just like they are to the Christians. Such a thing seems insanely boring to me. The gods are changing, movable, maluble, and almost every mythology tells of a god or goddess changing their mind or being forced to due to their situation or needs. Strict rules are often bent, broken or in some case just plain ignored.

I’m hopeful myself that these things are something more of the pagan community sees as sarcred. The ability for the changeable divine. The transgender devine even. The gods are always going to have to change as we do. One day, maybe we will find how to change as easily as they.

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Survalance cameras on this life

I’m always being watched 

Every day my face is here 

And nowhere 

No one ever views the tapes

Sometimes I think

They are just being used to be voyages 

Litter stories, pulp books to sell to masses of extraterrestrial aliens 

I’m sure they read our lives

I’m sure they hate us too 

We waste so much energy on trivially minuscule things

They compare our civilization 

They can’t rely on just these cameras

But they have nothing else 

Augustpoetpuza

I am going to be posting a poem every second day in August. I hope. I’m doing this for two reasons, one to practice my poetry skills and try and up the differences between them. The other is to gain more attention to my blog. Yeah I’m a little vain, but I love it when people like my poems. 

All these poems are free! For your eyes to see. If I’m feeling really generous I might even record me reading one or two.

I will be also be making poetry and art for sale section of the site in due course. Possibly before this post goes up. 

Hope all is well,

Anne

Art Portfolio is Live

Hi all!

Sorry its taken a while as I have been sick with a dreded cold fluy thing. I have had to have a bit of a hiatus, but am back now. In site news, I have now put up my art portfolio here:

Art Portfolio

You can even send me a email for a commission, if you like. My rates are resnoble.

Enjoy.

Note only one poem this month, but lots coming in August.

In creativity,
Anne

Author update

Hi readers,

A few more slight changes. Since the writing for hammersmith is now going to only be for the comic which has moved, I have placed all the Hammersmith stuff under one heading on the Enigma Garden site. The comic will be the main place for the story, but I want to keep the story here for prosperity. I might start up text updates in future maybe, maybe not. We shall see. Hammersmith has always meant to be a comic and now I finally feel like my art is good enough for it. So hopefully I will be able update it a bit more often now I am not worrying about keeping the text bit updated.,

https://hammersmithcomic.wordpress.com/

This means more non-continual text will appear here for the moment. I will be writing a few short stories which will likely eventually end up here when I am happy with them.

Cheers,

Anne

Updated about, Facebook page and some retroconjuration

Hi faithful readers, new and old.

I now have a Facebook fan page: https://m.facebook.com/annerowlandsartistpoet/

You can find a link to some other new stuff including a pateron on my About page here and on the Hammersmith comic page. 

I’m also now open to full paid art and poem commissions. I’m not yet sure how to sell them, I’m open to suggestions. You can get such things from my patreon page but I’m not linking to that except from my about page for the moment. More news on that when available.

Their had also been some dreaded retroconjuration in the Hammersmith story. Particularly a bit I was unhappy with in chapter 17. Of course the original is still available in the pandora archive of this blog. For which I ask future readers to forgive me for my mistakes. 

Cheers and thanks for reading and continuing to support.

Anne 

P.s. I’m looking to redesign the art area of the site soon.

Hammersmith Comic

Hi readers!

I’m going to be making the Hammersmith story into a comic. A full fledged comic. With every page a comic strip. I’m pretty excited about this actually. It’s really what Hammersmith was supposed to be to being with. 

That being said this poetry / fiction WordPress site doesn’t deal with comic format strips well. For a start going back and forth would be even more of a nightmare than it already is! Creating a content page was my only way around this. So I’m going to put the Hammersmith comic on a completely new WordPress. To be announced soon.

The comic will likely be as close to fortnightly as I can get. So I’ll be making the announcement of the new site once I have enough strips to keep ahead of myself. So probably a month or two from now. 

I’ll now leave you to your regularly scheduled poetry and short fiction.

Anne 

My top ten songs 

My top ten songs
I wrote quite a few non fiction articles in my time online. Some I’m not proud of. Some hide in the deepest reaches of the early Internet. The things am proud of are my few but, I think at least half way decent music reviews. I wrote a few for a blog then known as Tomarto Records Monthly. It’s now known Tomatrax and is edited by Richard. I enjoyed writing a little piece to help celebrate the fact that Richard has had his music reviews, interviews, etc. going for a good solid 10 years. A feat well worth celebrating, sharing, and having been a fairly small part of.

Hope you like it.

A few small hammersmith things (not a story bit)

Hiya reader,

I would like to let you know you can now read Hammersmith on Whattpad if you so desire, I have up to chapter 8 their will upload more as more readers read it. The comic chapters can’t be uploaded their so you will still have to visit this site foe them.

Here is the link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/39844638-hammersmith

Anyway a really big chapter is on its way, so look forward to that. I had a lot of trouble writing it. Expect chapters to go a bit slower for the moment as I am making sure there as little continuity errors as possible. Do note that their may occasionally be some Retconjuration, and I will of course keep that to a minimum. Also do note that their a various histories about what happened during the Incident, so no one account can be taken without thinking about the sources bias.

Anyway I hope you are enjoying my story.

Always welcome comments etc.

Anne