Concenteena pantomine brushes

Damn

Blue the distance

Convergence we gather/crosses we shatter

I wish I was bulletproof on the tune player

Does it matter? Rafters/plots pantomime horse slayer

Cram

Leave this wish ant

Apple tastes, butter grace/fly buzzcut shone in the race

Moon kisses her mace. She wields it with all her grace

Flavour/silver bottle dies in a haste

Stamp

Is that a quote from Immanuel Cant?

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Animals as Elements: 35-36 Bromine Krill and Krypton Kestrel

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Bromine is a trace element that is very closely related to its sister element Iodine, the one can often be mistaken for the other. It often was used a part of pesticides but as it causes ox one depletion is was banned. It is now used in anti-convulsion and anti-seizure drugs. As it is found in small amounts in ocean water, but also in high concentration in salt lakes, Krill is a good match. Krill isn’t really one species, but a series of different very small crustaceans of the order Euphausiacea. They do however seem almost diluted within the oceans they are so small.

Krypton might seem like its the weakness of superman (that was Kryptonite) it is in reality a inert gas, mostly free of radiation and unable to react with other elements unless under very specific circumstance. Like all of the noble gasses thus far Krypton is depicted as a bird. The kestrel is bird of prey that feeds often on small rodents and lizards and sometimes larger prey. I matched it with Krypton because they both start with the letter K.

Self on self is not selfish but hallowed

We can take the idea of a self care – as one of a worker day module. It’s a unit. A schedule break that’s given, almost permission to be away from the task at hand. Not though, it’s actually a task in itself. A part of the machines mechanics. A very scheduled part of your own schedule. Taking your enjoyment, joy, break, and using your new found out to make sure you are doing the other things. It’s not given as a relationship its a part of the day in itself. It’s giving yourself a task for doing something different to your current one so you can focus on the current one better.

Like in coding, we are given threads when sufficiently advanced to use. Spacing pointers and their operations so that the whole program becomes, more effective. Using the computer’s computing power to compute something else while it waits for the rest of the task to be ready.

You can enjoy this threaded task. It’s not wrong. It’s not a bad thing to be self-aware of the task you have getting draining. Using up more of you than you need. You need to tame this beast.

“This task needs to be done so I must find a way”

Are you though taking a break from you? Or are you doing it for the task? Is this task bigger than you? Is it worth more than you? Are you working the task or is this task working you?

I’m not saying you should not be doing something you enjoy. You should. But let yourself enjoy it more. Don’t worry about your other task. Let yourself love yourself. Let go of the idea you are doing this for your task. You are doing it for you. Only for you.

You are worth it. You are the one doing this task. You are essential to this task being completed. You are the one with the training, the knowledge, the skills. You give this task your essence. You are in control of how well it is done. You are in control of how efficient it is. You are doing this self-care for you.

You are not your task. Never.

Aquasoliverium

Milk of the talisman has dripped

Dripping / sudden wet

Splashed with dark red

Blood / essence warm

I blow on it once

Then you twice

Sprinkle the salt and sugar

Crystals of / cubiform California

Then we set

Clasp the way

Horse and the hay

It’s a Thursday

Week day / am I insane?

I start to see the new

And death the old

Cold mountains fold

Hooves heavy and thunder

Storms plunders

Juxtapositions a sundered

Boutique / Monique

Neigh whiny

I am now your Philly

Sigh

A cup of coffee
A blessed relief
Orange sunrise
for me to drink
you there with me
and the kitchen sink

sugar and honey and all the hope
the flowers and bees wandering in
trees with my fellow rock and sand beneath my toes
the wonderful water-flow that flows

a gully of pure distance
trickling through the sunlight in the distance
peace of mind and gathered moss
Indonesia and Samuel Frost
Ethiopia in the springtime
a ballad in the meantime

your see a statesman who wishers forth
the truth of it all is what you sort
the distance atmosphere will not sing
as the winds in the trees are metaphor for the din
sugar and honey and all the hope
mountains of skyward reach
they erode with a itch

you know the perfect place now
the place of peace
join me in there in your dreams when you can
as I will wait for all eternity

a hospitable home in the forrest near the beach
with limestone benches and wooden breech
sugar and honey and all the hope

its what I dream
its what I know
its when I know it
and how I show it
I want to win
But I only lose

sigh out loud and wish you where there
you will be there eventually
just live until then

Animals as Elements: 33-34 Arsenic Arsnobacteria, Selenium Tuna

Arsenic is a odd little element that is usually known for its toxic effect on most carbon based life. It is however often used in semiconductors along with Gallium. There is an extremophile bacterium that loves arsenic-rich environments (generally volcanic fissures, tailing pools from mining) it is called unimaginatively Arsenobacteria.

Selene is a goddess of the moon, selenium was thus called so because of her, and Tellurium which had just been discovered and named for the Earth. Clearly having similar properties meant it should be called with a similar naming convention, and since Tellurium is heavier and us in the set of elements below Selenium, the name became obvious. So, what the hell does this have to do with Tuna? Selenium is a powerful antioxidant in Tuna especially, though clearly too much is toxic just like too much of anything is!

Nutshells and a robots knees

Day 1:

Im standing in the battleground.

I see naught but nutshells and robot knees. They’re all dead.

It’s not like the sun to be this cold. 

I’m searching for food. For a spare battery pack. My body hurts so much. Blood and oil drop from different parts of it. The muddy field is full of scaps and scars of a long fought battle. A stalemate has been in force for just one day now.

I’m Adam. It’s a stupid name. I don’t have a better one. 

It’s a good thing I kept my hands. Otherwise I might not write.

Everyone knows the Robots led a rebellion. I’m one of the cyborgs sent to fight it. I was dead. Like all the rest of us.

The robots realeased a virus. A deadly one. Killed a lot of people. Left me and a lot more people in hospitals. Grasping a straws for life. Then, me and all of those in my ward. Anyone who still had proper hands and knees. The virus was designed by the robots to attack our skeletons. Eat away at our cartilage and then the bones themselves. Slowly reducing our ability to walk. To fight. To live. 

You would think, maybe they should go for the blood? Or the brain? Apparently the robots didn’t think it effectively would get their point across. Robots didn’t want to kill humanity. After all we were their parents. Their creators. Killing us? It was not the option they wanted. Even with their advances and intelligence they wanted humanity to survive. If for no other reason than because deep down, they loved us in a strange robot like way.

I’m walking on a trail of various pieces of what some may call junk. Not really junk. It’s all bits of cyborg body. Or robot body. Or expolded bits that no one could recognize. In between it all their is naught but mud. Mud. Dark, brown, sticky. 

It took less than three hours to create this field of the dead. The battle lasted just long enough to kill thirty thousand cyborg humans. Twice as many robots. 

The man who came to me. The one I mentioned earlier. Or did I forget? These cyborg bodies he said, they will give you life. Let you fight back. Give humanity one last chance to really fight these robots. 

Of course I knew being a cyborg was just making, and adding to a inevitable end. I’m not stupid. The fact is, any second now my cybernetic body will get shut down codes.

Animals as Elements: 31-32, Gallium Dodo, Germanium Boar

The Dodo is famous for being the bird that became extinct. Gallium does not occur as a free element (only as an alloy, usually with zinc or aluminium in bauxite) and is a reasonably soft pliable metal. It’s used in most consumer electronics in semiconductors. Why do they belong together? Gallium is also used to keep the crystal structure of plutonium stable. Plutonium has limited uses, expect in nuclear medicine and thermonuclear bombs. Without gallium, we wouldn’t be able to keep thermonuclear weapons stable. Also, we would likely be less close to mutually assured destruction.

Germanium is a hungry element much like oxygen or carbon; it forms binds to a high number of other elements. Thus a boar is a good match for this element.

Another site update!

Hi all you awesome readers! I have made some updates to the site again!
Note my about page has changed most of all. Also the default font to something a little more Dyslexia friendly (I have dyslexia so makes sense).

Its not much of a update. I hope to get the site looking even better in due course, but it may take longer than I anticipated.
Also expect some new essays soon.

All my dreamwork stuff will soon appear in the archives! From my old dreamwork blog. New Dreamwork posts may appear in essays from time to time. I will also be turning it into a ebook! I just have to work out a sensible structure and format to put it in. At the moment its pretty chaotic! Nevertheless you will be able to get it from me for a small amount of money in the near future.

In reading and writing,
Anne

Specks (But I do)

Freaked with pink specks above the wing, oh Pegasus

Length of your abroad sailing on that rack

I struck by saturnism, a soiled being of mirth

Naught, uncle verily sold unto me a fandangle disposition

Oh mooncalf I hear you spake, the numbing cheat would but be a faster expiry

Fain I am, I call

Gods acer, you be in amount regardless

Such day, yea I drink from young blood of ye?

Neigh, it be but ague to your conistution

Slipshod my night, soon but I do.

Render of sink

I’m sink/ing

Render of

Tale of my

Heart?

Brain?

Stomach?

Blue? It’s not blue its grey

No other colour can be as heartless

Cold and unyielding

I’m sink/ing

In this soup of grey

Yet orange light

Sun/light

Of this setting day

Blooms around

Is it hope? Or a coming flame?

Either would be welcome

Animals as Elements: 29-30 Copper Orb Spider, Zink Tiger

Orb spiders are one of my favourite spiders. Often make large majestic webs, usually a new one every day to catch insects and other invertebrates. The spider from Charlotte’sweb is an orb spider. They have adapted well to urbanisation. Copper is often a very versatile and useful element, though usually as an alloy in brass and types of steel, it colour us very much like that of many species of orb spider.

Tigers are a rather big carnivore that lives on most of the Asian continent. Bengal Tigers clearly being the most famous, followed by the Siberian Tiger. Zinc is a fairly common post transition metal and its use is frequent in everything from aerospace products to sunscreen. Zinc was discovered first in India at some point before recorded history (before 1000 BCE) and this of course is the reason for my choice of Tiger as the representation of this element.

A Girl In a Red Hat

This is a tale, a tale from the past
A story that’s told, and you know it will last
Listen to the words and you will find, that this story is in all of our minds

A tale that involves a girl in a red hat, who wears a green shirt and owns a black cat
besides her a man whose standing on one leg, leaning against a marbled pole that looks dank
the distance you hear the a sound of beeps, the scream of some birds and a menacing creep

There are lights that flash on and off in the gloom
the gloom of a morning thats not awake
like an old forgotten god whose at the bottom of a lake

meetings are coming, meetings to go to
opportunities not missed by those who known to

circles and cakes, people you meet
people is people who are at your feet

and still the girl who had a red hat, wears a green shirt and owns a black cat
waiting and watching and seeing these things, doesn’t move or know what they mean

and presently a Seagull whose a little bit bored, waddles aimlessly up to this broad
squarks a pertinent inquiry at the rosette crested girl
who looks at it westerly as if shes unwell

the seagull tells her that it is a man, and comes from a island in a very different land
and she doesn’t think or indeed move at all and simply smiles

for miles and miles there wasn’t one person who saw
the seagull and girl fly to the land of man of the swell

Animals as Elements: 27-28 Cobalt Hyacinth Macaw, Nickel Proboscis Monkey


Cobalt (as a oxide) is a metal that is often used in tinting glass jewellery and other products to make a brilliant blue color. Often mistaken as the result of bismuth by early chemists and alchemists. I chose the to depict it as a Macaw as its bright blue is so much like that produced by cobalt oxide.

Nickel is a metal often used as an alloy or a plating for more corrosive metals. Usually, as destructive oxidation is less likely to affect it. It’s also often referred to as “old nick” in German miner slang to its resistance when coupled with copper, and thus a “devil” to refine and spot. Nickel is also one of the most widely used elements for implants, though often in an alloy with Aluminium, Titanium and Osmium and until recently Lead (which stopped due to leads high toxicity). Its use in dental fillings is extraordinarily widespread, as a mixture is enlarged, especially so. An enlargement of something is often called a proboscis in biology although many invertebrates and vertebrates have such feature the renowned “naughty” nature of the Proboscis monkey led me to depict them as Nickel.

On paganism and being transgender

(Most of my essays on dreaming and paganism were archived with my older blog. This is the first essay I have posted on this blog, probably not the last.)

Being both pagan and a transgender woman can be a very harsh road. As I was working out my gender identity, I learned some of the hardest people that existed in my community.

There are still Pagans who are followers of a belief that only women who had experience of a period could be “true women”. Forgetting how ableist this is for a moment, it is often explicitly directed at exclusively. Usually paraded in the name of historical accuracy, which if you ever do your reading in neopaganism you know for sure is complete bull shite.

I’m confident that such history, is ultimately flawed, even reconstructionist pagans can never hope to have an entirely accurate depiction of what the pagan cultures they reconstruct. Many modern and ancient cultures though had more than one gender, and our binary two have not always been a strict line that is followed. The whole idea of two-genders an exclusively Abrahamic idea, but it is a duality that historically has been used by those purporting to such religions have used to their advantage.

Almost all reconstructions of pagan beliefs hold that their is nothing to be done about the parts of history that have humans harming each other. Pagans were systematically persecuted for centuries. Conversely, when the pagans were in control of the government systems that did exist, the same was done to the Christians. It’s unfortunate but true. The other thing was that the pagans who did get more modern practices, those that survived to the point of the Christian church’s reach over the Roman Empire, believed that sex and gender were more fluid than those coming from the teachings of Abraham and his followers.

I’m not looking to open old wounds here. I’m looking to compare. LGBTI people often find sanctuary within the neopagan community. The idea of sex being scared, life itself is scared, and these are qualities that many LGBTI people find attractive against the raw, often strict monotheisms, though there is an issue of being excluded. Transgender and intersex people still usually are. I have seen the way too many a pagan ritual or pagan woman’s group that has said I have to have been “born” and or “blood” or have experienced it. I have heard of similar men’s rights that require a penis, or the ability to ejaculate. I think we also shouldn’t go into the “cakes of light” stuff from the often pagan aligned occultism. How LGBTI people can fit into some of this is usually a big question that some of these paths answer, others never even consider, and some make explicit that LGBTI people are just not yet welcome.

So I exclude myself. Work only with women who see me as a woman. Who actually know “biology” is far more complicated. That “Mother Nature” is a fallible woman. That many animals exist in the single-gender environment, swapping their physical gender due to temperatures, age, status etc. The gods to some pagans are infallible just like they are to the Christians. Such a thing seems insanely dull to me. The gods are changing, movable, malleable, and almost every mythology tells of a god or goddess changing their mind or forced to due to their situation or needs. Strict rules are often bent, broken or in some case just plain ignored. Why then can us supposedly fallible humans not be the same?

I’m hopeful myself that these things are something more of the pagan community sees as sacred. The ability for the changeable divine. The transgender divine even. The gods are always going to have to change as we do. One day, maybe we will find how to change as quickly as they.

Blimp’s Folly

Standing in dawn darkness

Outline of a city below harkens

My frigid breath is icy waves

Cascade froth over the cappuccino gaze

Yellow dust flowers spring to life

Wattle, I breathe in its sand castle essence

Danger clouds face me; moon is a crescent

Up beyond a yellow blimp falls

Diners at the street cafe call

It crashes, down like a wet mop

It’s gallon shape flop, flop, flop

Animals as Elements: 25-26 Manganese Rhinoceros and Iron Mouse

Manganese is a strong element that helps with muscle growth. It is a trace element in many vegetables and plants often consumed by herbivores in their food, and Carnivora from the herbivores they eat. Rhinoceros is a animal renouned for its strength and it’s rather brustish way of keeping itself safe using its brute strength and it’s hard horn. Much like the behavior of manganese if it’s misused.

Iron is one of the most important and used elements in the world. Used in most large construction projects, transport projects and in many household items. It wide use and strength led me to draw it as mouse. Mice are a very widely spread animal, on every continent (except Antarctica). They have the ability too breed very quickly and eat everything in sight in the right conditions. Their strength in numbers makes up for their small size and are very worthy of being the representative of iron.