Really it had been harder than she had expected. Taking her clothes off had always been the most difficult part. It was due to the teasing, they had called her a boy and she often couldn’t help but imagine one time she would take off her trousers and underpants to find she had become a he. She had dreams about it for a time. But also dreams about having breasts, often comically large. It was still hard, but only when undressing somewhere public, the pool, gym, and the store change room. These are all places she avoided if at all possible. Order online, swim in your own pool or when the public pool was empty and don’t go to the gym or get changed at home. Every now and again she had this urge to make sure she was the same clothes size. Then Devine ended up like this.
Half naked, crying, in a store cubical.
your pathetic
That was what her father had said. Cold hearted bastard, mother had divorced him when she was 2. He still somehow got visitation of her and that meant he could play his mind game on her, or her mother through her. He also called her a boy, pathetic when she cried even made her feel like he didn’t love her. But then she had made it as women he seemed proud and happy. It made as much sense as anything else in the enigma garden that was her fathers mind.
It still hurt her, those words.
How could she get out of this?
More crying.
“Um hello?”
—–
Tam was having a bad day. It wasn’t unusual for her. They came as freely as the sun and moon. It was as if they poor freely from the open wounds of the sky. So on this usually crappy day Tam had no breakfast. Walked to work from her really small apartment which she shared with her hopelessly pretty but gay housemate Steve. He always seemed happy and was getting married soon, he was moving out leaving her with the full rent for the small concrete box she called home. Then she got a call from her ex- boyfriend/stalker about some sort of money he still owed her (it was she decided a dead loss to expect it back at this stage). Then she had to open the store as her manager was late again. Finally a girl was crying in one of the cubicles.
She approached cautiously hoping she didn’t have to call security to get the door open.
“uh hello?”
Crying.
“hello?”
More sobs but quieter.
“Hello in there. Are you alright.”
Less sobs. Then “I don’t know”
It was weak, like a kitten on it’s first day out.
“it’s ok, I am sure it will be ok.” Tam thought maybe I can talk to her for a bit, sounds like her day has been just as if not more than shitty mine. We have that in common.
“I am not a boy.”
That was unexpected. This is a real problem. Not like mine.
“ok I thought I saw you choose the blue dress, is it not fitting you?”
Best make a topic of conversation away from the topic of being or not being male.
“I haven’t tried it yet.”
Weakly again.
“ok, ok, that’s ok. You don’t have to try it.”
“I want to.”
“ok. Thats fine. You can do that to.”
“I can’t”
“why?”
“i … I … I don’t like myself.”
“I am sure your lovely”
“why?” weak again.
“your voice is beautiful” Tam said with confidence.
“oh. ”
Some ruffling sounds were produced. Then silence.
Devine opened the door to reveal a wet face in a sea of blue dress.
“I hope I look as pretty as I sound.” She meeped.
“You do.” Tam hugged her, it seemed appropriate.
Then the fire alarm went off.
The Enigma Garden 